Discovery of a Gray Hair, Binny's Beverage Depot, Christmas Eve 1996

You'll come back to us. Nobody finds 

a job out of college. I've been here 

seven years 

sliding bottles over the scanner. 

I majored in Hospital Administration, but you know 

(I'm fat & my hair's oily & nobody wants me 

sucking on a cigarette in a hospital bathroom.) 

So, I found Binny's.  It's all good, except for

the holidays. You'll get your diploma

and come back to us, I can tell, I see 

a lot of me in you. Isn't that a gray hair?

I'll watch your register if you want to

pull it out. Hell, I'd do it, but you know 

I have Dorito dust on my fingers, plus 

I guess you're the type that wants to stand

at the bathroom mirror, damn fluorescent lights,

and get yourself 

all pissy and worked up about it. 

Relax.