Mo' Money No' Money, So What?

I forget whom it was, but somebody posted something somewhere about cutting back on live music shows during her unemployment.

I, too, have cut back on shows, as well as eating out, and going out in general. My bank/ATM statement came in the mail, and for the entire month of February I spent $193.54 over six purchases that ranged from food/groceries, to movie rentals, two Subway visits, and some snacks at Family Dollar that I brought over to a friend's place.

Also in February there was $954 deducted from my debit card for my cat's medical bills, not including the $500 or so that I put on my charge card, and have since paid off using my savings, which I'm very thankful for having saved all these years.

The real laugh came when I dug out my Dec 25th through January 26th bank statement. I lost my sales job on the statement end date of Jan. 26th. The ATM transactions from pre-job loss were over a page long vs. a third of a page from February, and it appears as if I spent $863.93 during this period, all in a blur of consumer spending that in retrospect seems excessive.

Highlights from January included $63 at Reckless Records on two separate trips, $182 at a boutique in Roscoe Village, $48 at a Wicker Park clothing shop, $66 on a sweater dress from Belmont Army that was 60% off, $45 at Handlebar (I used my card and a friend paid me cash, so technically half of that), $82 at a designer consignment boutique in Lincoln Park, and $42 on improv sketch comedy tickets for three shows. It appears as if I also spent $19 at a store for teachers, buying new dry erase board materials, raffle tickets, and other home office stuff. And, oh yes, how can I forget the shiny American Apparel tights that I'm trying to remember why they were so important.

The good news is that I have used, or enjoyed nearly all the stuff I purchased. Some of the clothing has become a part of my regular wardrobe, and I pretty much shop only at locally owned retailers, so I can't feel too bad about that.... However, the bad news is the realization that the days of shopping on whims and for near sport are over, at least until I find a job. One of the issues though is money in general, and I'm not sure I care about the almighty dollar as much as I used to, i.e., mentally I feel at the same level of happiness having spent $193 on myself this past month vs. $863.

For that reason I might look for non sales jobs in addition to sales jobs. A friend just gave me a good lead for an interesting sales job, yet it's for a grassroots start-up, and it is a straight commission gig. Though straight commission has never phased me... my father worked on commission for the better part of thirty years, and supported a family of four, it can often be a struggle, especially an uphill one in this economy.

I applied for the job. It's part-time, and for a user generated community of young, budding journalists whom are covering their neighborhoods on a micro level. The old approach to advertising isn't working anymore, I know because I worked in it, and witnessed it falling apart, so I figured I'd see what this place is about. Maybe if I believe in it enough, I can be inspired enough to sell for it.

Only time will tell... There's always the inner struggle of should a job be something you care about, or just something to shut off at a certain time, and pay your bills? In recent months I have leaned toward the latter definition. Passion has a way of draining passionate workers.

In the interim as I think about these "deep, am I having a career crisis or just confused like everyone else trying to make their way in this new economy?" questions I've decided it's time to hear music again, especially now that I have a bit of a cushion due to my benefits coming through. I can find $17 in my budget to see a show. There's something about live music, and theater that is more therapeutic than a $66 sweater dress that I've decided makes me look fat.

Tomorrow a friend and I are going to a concert, and I couldn't be more excited. It's time to have fun again!