Look, Ma, I'm Guilty as Charged!

As I stepped, and swayed to nowhere in particular on the elliptical, I smiled looking at the single cell that shyster, and schemer Bernie Madoff will occupy at the Metropolitan Correctional Center.

A cot-like bed, sheets possibly as white as the ones on the hospital bed Madoff's mother laid on, on the day her little, entrepreneurial monster was born, sheets as blank, and as no-frills as an unlined sheet of paper on which a person can craft a life. Or, in Madoff's case, a lie.

Madoff's new schedule-- a typical day in prison-- flashed across the screen. 6 a.m wake-up. A bit of eating. A lot of working. Done by 3 p.m. with the making of license plates, or whatever it is that prisoners do, followed by an early, geriatric dinner at 5 p.m. Lights out by 11 p.m.

The simple schedule reminded me of Mariette in Ecstasy, a work of fiction by Ron Hanson that I read in college. Mariette in Ecstasy takes place in a convent. The nuns had a similar schedule, though all sorts of prayer time scheduled in throughout the day. Mariette was a young, attractive nun that got a bit carried away by Jesus. Mariette was caught pleasuring herself in front of a crucifix, and then admonished by her sisters for her passion, which she attempted to curb. It was like the stigmata, but all taking place below the belt. This could all be false memory, too. Maybe I need to reread it.

Back to Bernie... I hope he gets caught pleasuring himself in prison, and I hope he experiences the horrible, vile, seedy, and unseemly side of prison, too, and if his mother were alive he could say, "Look Ma, I'm guilty as charged!"

I am not sure why I feel so affected by this case. Madoff didn't take any of my money. Yet, like me, he is a Jew, and part of the 1.2% of Jews in the United States that have faced anti-semitism, persecution, and been the butt of jokes, and stereotypes. I noticed how much larger his nose was drawn in the courtroom sketches vs. what it looks like in photos, and found that disconcerting. Is a courtroom artist a caricaturist, too?

The CNN piece interviewed people that were swindled by Madoff. Most, if not all, had last names that could be identified as Jewish, which makes sense since he swindled those in his immediate, and peripheral circles, many of whom, like him, are also Jewish. Part of me hopes he'll convert to Christianity in prison, since Christians have a Hell. Jews just have Sheol, a Hebrew underworld where both the righteous, and the unrighteous mingle, which seems too nice for Bernie.

So, I guess I am just sad that Madoff had to be such a schmuck, and that he had to be Jewish as well. Though I am pretty sure Ponzi is an Italian last name....