“THE TATTOO- Extended Blackout”
CAST
ALY, mid 30s
MERLE, late 60s
(In front of a tattoo parlor. MERLE is admiring her forearm and smiling to herself, and then quickly pulls her sleeve down, and covers her forearm as ALY approaches)
ALY
Mom! I just got your voicemail! Are you serious? Did you really get a tattoo?
MERLE
Yes! Why is that so hard for you to believe?
ALY
All my life you said I can’t get a tattoo, because I wouldn’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery if I did, and now you… you have a tattoo?! You’re 68 years old!
MERLE
Well, times have changed. Everybody does cremation now anyway, even the Jews! Sweetie, I’d put your ashes on my mantle regardless of whether or not you had dye on your skin before it was burned over a fire. I’d treasure your ashes even if you spent your life punching holes in your face and in your ears and on your nipples –
ALY
Eeeww!! Stop! Okay, I get your point. Please don’t use that word.
MERLE
What? Nipples? You are such a prude! How did I raise such a prude?
ALY
I don’t know what’s gotten into you! You’re acting like a Hell’s Angel.
MERLE
Well, maybe I’ve been like this all along, and you’ve only seen me the way you wanted to see me.
ALY
Uh, maybe. I guess… ? Wha….what is your tattoo of? Did it hurt? Can I see it?
MERLE
Sure, but don’t touch it! The ink’s not totally dry. This artist girl, Crescent, what a pretty name! If you ever actually have a child in this lifetime you should name her Crescent, forget what I said about naming your child after your dead father. He doesn’t have nothing over the name Crescent.
ALY
Uh, anything, not nothing, and yeah, I guess Crescent is a nice name, it reminds me of a roll for some reason, but all these years you’ve been saying I should name...
MERLE
Anything, nothing, whatever, you know what I mean. You’re a grammar snob, and look where it gets you! Have you found a job yet, or are you just going to move into my spare bedroom and correct my language all day long? Does anyone else but me even read your blahhg?!
ALY
I…I have a job, I’m self employed, remember?! And I don’t have time to blog anymore.
MERLE
Ha! You’re self employed! The Illinois Dept. of Employment Security is the REAL sponsor of your neighborhood newsletter. Biggest one you’ve got! Whatcha gonna do when it ends, huh?
ALY
Mom…? Why are you so mean, wh….wh…what’s gotten into you?
MERLE
Listen, it’s not for me to say. I’m empowered these days, I’m strong, and I’m honest. I’m sick of all the shit I’ve done and said the past six decades. 70 is gonna be the new 22!
ALY
Uh, cool! I mean that’s good, I don’t know what age that will make me if you’re gonna be 22 in two years..?
MERLE
That would make you not born yet. Your brother too. To hell with the both of you!
ALY
No, that’s uh totally fine, Mom, really! Sometimes I sort of wish that for myself, and here you’ve just confirmed it. Now can I please see your tattoo?
(Merle rolls up her sleeve. Aly peers at it, and smiles, somewhat relieved)
“I’m Sorry?” You got a tattoo on your arm that says, “I’m Sorry?”
MERLE
Story of my life, right? I say it so much I figured I’d better just ink it onto my body, and when I can’t say I’m sorry because I’m too busy crying I can just point people I’ve wronged like my children to my shriveled and wrinkled forearm!
ALY
That’s really depressing. You’ve never wronged me, mom. I should be the one with an “I’m Sorry” tattoo, not you. I’ve never in my life seen a tattoo that says, “I’m Sorry.”
MERLE
Well, now you have, but it won’t be on there for long. It’s Henna, and Crescent promised it will wash off by the 15th of April, just in time for taxes. Happy April Fool’s Day!
(Blackout)
LMAO so funny.
ReplyDeleteMom..? I am assuming it's you. Glad you weren't offended. From feedback I am changing the ending, it was too much like an "i had a bad dream" cop-out. The tattoo will be real, not fake, and instead of having just gotten it, you will be getting the tattoo during the scene, and Crescent will be there, too.- more lively this way.
ReplyDelete