Gangs of the New Economy

i am a french fry, yum....

2011-03-02T10:55:00.001-06:00

The Fries knew it was a different day, It was gonna be different,They were gonna beIn their fryer Like alwaysBut there’d be a visitFrom the Hamburger… So the fries did their best,To not let the oil fry them too muchToo not be soggy, To be fresh and crispTo put a little extra effortInto being Fries on this day, Because the Fries knowThey are the best side dish to any Hamburger,That any Hamburger

Stick with Her

2010-02-27T11:12:00.020-06:00

A few months ago my mom dived into a new hobby, and I blogged about it here. When I visited this past Thursday for an overnight 'vacation,' mainly to give my cat some time to himself and to take a break from everything, I found myself not enmeshed in an oasis of quiet and calm but instead witnessing a kitchen-table-turned-drafting-area, with my mom at its helm, working against a deadline for an

strangers on a parade float

2010-02-18T15:05:00.007-06:00

i know a few people who get ballsy enough to be in stranger's faces. in general i prefer consent in all things photographic. parades, however, are fair game! this photo, which i just found while deleting a bunch of old images, was from the Pride parade a few years back. it's the CNA insurance company float. i can't think about CNA or look at its tall red building, so prominent against the city

a poem to you

2010-02-14T22:37:00.002-06:00

a poem to you/whoi do not know,on a day that should not/does affect me like it does,the hearts, the rainbows, the pink i'm all about that, babe. i tried to do things/diddo things that i'd like to do/often like mop the floors, open the mail, i did it all for me,'twas no one rooting me onexcept a voice called pride.at the end of the day a call came in from a friend. there was hope when i clicked '

the cliche that is a weird cab ride

2010-02-04T01:17:00.005-06:00

weird cab rides are very cliche, thus for you to write about a cab ride it must have been breathtakingly weird. forget the stale nachos, the horribly bad movie not deserving of a big theater screen or of the attention of the idiot that shelled out $11 to escape the world for two hours. pretend there wasn't a guy that somehow helped you end up in that place tonight, but then he was gone and you

A Full Moon

2010-01-31T13:37:00.006-06:00

Anything can happen when there's a full moon as was the case yesterday. The moon is visible in the far left corner of this image snapped while on a very long yet very head clearing walk.How is the 'walking man' inside the stoplight at Clyborn & Magnolia so much bigger than our moon? My cell phone died, and the charger is missing. The person who has keys to the lost & found box at the theater I

The Facebook Filter

2010-01-29T20:03:00.002-06:00

What I wanted to say: "There seems to be this trend with people I met when I was 20 turning 40 lately. Nevertheless, it's exciting in a sad way! Just kidding, Happy Birthday!"What I did say: Happy Birthday!

a fun week

2010-01-26T19:39:00.005-06:00

i had more fun than usual with this week's Pipeline....am all out of words though. whew. awoke at 5:30 AM to write the WHACK review and Plan B stories *before* the 8:30 AM state of the wards. came home and due to the fact that proofer had been logged into the same document and i hadn't logged out, ALL was lost, so i had to rewrite both from memory, and the plan b story turned out different, and

Stupid Rules

2010-01-24T09:34:00.018-06:00

Just as there are no stupid questions, I believe there are no stupid rules. Building on this, someone told me for the second time that I have "a lot of stupid rules." Sometimes we can't explain why we have our rules, or personal codes of conduct, written, or implicit, but each of us has rules, whether for our personal or business lives, and part of being true to ourselves and

Sympathy Munchkins

2010-01-21T17:21:00.037-06:00

I took the train downtown to get my camera repaired. L., the Dunkin Donuts man, was at his post behind the bullet-proof glass. Every morning as I commuted to work I'd order the same thing at the same time, and L. would call me his "best friend," something I thought made me special until I realized that he calls all his regulars his best friend. The last time L. and I spoke was

The Thing About Happiness

2010-01-19T15:43:00.005-06:00

Naturally I can't find the article to reference/link it, but either in this past Sunday's NYT or the Chicago Tribune there was a story about happiness. The story began by comparing two people-- a wealthy 30-something single male with a lot of wealth and his own swimming pool, and a 60-something married, overweight African American woman with lots of health problems. Based on a brain scan-- I

Bad dates=good stories

2010-01-17T13:26:00.029-06:00

I don't usually enter writing competitions, mainly because I don't think anything I write is good enough, plus even if it were I suffer from A.D.D. at open mic gatherings, preferring to read other people's stories on my own terms, alone, and while in slipper socks. Yet, with Valentine's Day approaching, and the fact I have one V-Day advertiser confirmed for The Pipeline, and figure I'll have to

Jared, I'm Ready for a Foreign Body Sensation, Are You?

2009-12-30T11:35:00.036-06:00

Dear Jared, So, I went to Walgreen's in search of a new "Wow! It's $2" pleather 2010 planner like the one I made great use of this past year, and much to my dismay the planner did not appear to be on the shelf. The helpful associate in the blue vest-- the same color as our people's Star of David-- was not sure if they would be receiving any Wow$2 planners this year. Hmmph! I did, however,

Fair Enough & the Day in Pictures

2009-12-29T19:46:00.004-06:00

I've decided that I do not like the phrase "fair enough." Do people say it when they don't know how to reply to what you just said? Or, is "fair enough" like a euphemism for saying "I'm disappointed but I am going to say 'fair enough' because it sounds better?" Is it just a way to say "point taken," or "I understand?" Example: A man wants to meet up with a woman for drinks, but she is cold and

For Rent

2009-12-27T23:12:00.009-06:00

a woman in a bright purple coat who looks 70brushes the snow off her mother's coat who looks 90 and has tennis balls on the bottom of her walkera woman with posturesteeled against the cold hot pink lips and heavy looking boots scarf wrapped three times a gloved hand over a smart looking canedespite the ad on the side of the bus shelter for it none of us have Palm Pilots to stare at"Bustracker"

Jared Fogle, I'm Still Here for You in Some Ways!

2009-12-19T23:13:00.052-06:00

Dear Jared, I guess you never got my note about going to Carmax together?It's OK, really, I don't mind at this point whether or not you write back , plus the truth is that I couldn't afford a quality used car anymore even if you did fly out from Indianapolis to Chicago to help me select one. After my Year 2008 Christmas letter which I deleted shortly after writing, and a few other notes to you

Idle mind = devil's playground, plus duct tape

2009-12-08T17:30:00.003-06:00

Perhaps there's irony in the fact I just spent 15 straight hours writing all about the neighborhood, with a lot of the emphasis focused on buying stuff for the holidays, and in general outside of my niece I haven't purchased any gifts this year, and don't plan to unless I can craft gifts out of materials found around my apartment. My mom and I have already established a no-gift Hannukah, too. She

Not dead, just busy

2009-11-25T14:00:00.007-06:00

In the past week, a few people unconnected to each other and who I know through different ways mentioned to me that they've noticed I don't post any Facebook notes or blogs as I did on a regular basis for at least a few years, beginning with Myspace. So here it is, an explanation as to what I've been up to in the form of a Facebook note, and GONE post... Starting a business will put a crimp on

Blessed Event, Meet My Cat

2009-11-16T01:57:00.014-06:00

The woman at the estate sale earlier today saw what I was holding in my arms and sighed happily. "Ah, a Blessed Event doll, good choice!" she exclaimed, adding that she knew exactly what kind of doll it was because she had wanted one as a girl, but had never gotten one. Oh. There were dolls everywhere, in every room of the three story house, but this Blessed Event doll, manufactured in the 1950s

The Tattoo

2009-11-14T10:54:00.002-06:00

“THE TATTOO- Extended Blackout” CAST ALY, mid 30s MERLE, late 60s (In front of a tattoo parlor. MERLE is admiring her forearm and smiling to herself, and then quickly pulls her sleeve down, and covers her forearm as ALY approaches) ALY Mom! I just got your voicemail! Are you serious? Did you really get a tattoo?

Downward Dog: A 'Co-insurance Odyssey'

2009-10-24T08:44:00.010-05:00

I heard on CNN yesterday that coinsurance is around the corner. The new buzz word for 2010, it means that employees will now have to pay for more of their insurance costs, and up to 50% of an office visit's cost, rather than the traditional flat-rate co-pay, thus if a procedure at an office is three, or four hundred dollars an office visit could cost considerably more than a fixed rate $10 or $15

We Need a Public Health Insurance Policy

2009-10-21T13:22:00.021-05:00

I really only know what's happening to the Americans that I know, and I seem to know a lot of people from a variety of socio-economical backgrounds. Some have wealthy parents or good jobs, and never had to think too much about money. Others might still have good jobs, yet be buried in credit card debt, watching their savings dwindle, or have no main job, yet be working three or four side jobs

Subway in the Blood

2009-10-15T10:41:00.010-05:00

Dear Jared, I know it's been forever, and a day, and then another day or two, but I just wanted to touch base with you, and let you know where I'm at. The Hello Kitty stickers were getting too expensive, and I grew tired of sending pre-driven unmentionables to you that were never acknowledged, or reciprocated, forcing me to buy six packs of Fruit of the Loom at Walgreen's about every month when

Blogging is Stupid

2009-10-15T09:43:00.005-05:00

I read somewhere that 95% of blogs are abandoned by their owners-- and presumably for good reason. Who are the 5% that trudge forward? Are they the most truly narcissistic of humankind, feeling the need to report on the mundane and trivial and perfectly ordinary aspects of their life?Like clockwork, every three or four or five months I turn my back on blogging, and vow no mas. This time I have

Books vs. Movies

2009-10-10T10:59:00.004-05:00

No offense to film makers, and movie buffs (buff, what a weird word!), but I feel like in most cases, a book is usually better than its screen adaptation. Not in all cases, but possibly most. Why? Books take much longer to read than to sit passively watching a movie, thus a longer time investment promoting a sense of shared space between the reader, and the book, or novel's world, is achieved.

Standing Corrected- Again

2009-10-02T07:20:00.038-05:00

A lot can happen in three days. The laid off workers of Republic Windows and Doors were given three days notice that their jobs, and benefits were ending, as well as their factory being shut down, which prompted a sit in, political spotlight, and each worker receiving 6K of basic benefits, vacation, and severance pay owed to them. In the movie in which the Republic story appears, among other eye

Giving Capitalism: A Love Story Away

2009-10-01T09:28:00.019-05:00

CORRECTION It is playing tonight at 8 pm at Western, but it is not free, it is a benefit for united electrical and radio workers of America, you may want to amend your bloghref="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Y6vi0irM6Pw/SsTE1upafFI/AAAAAAAAB3U/utCeJsSfvUI/s1600-h/DSC00248.JPG">Just when I think I'm not sure about Michael Moore-- his motivations, his skewing of facts to heighten stories, his

Little Helper

2009-09-29T00:51:00.011-05:00

Actually, he's not helping. He's everywhere I don't want him to be, and now being almost 1 a.m. with a meeting in the morning I am admitting defeat, and giving myself some slack on not getting as far along on the newsletter as I'd hoped due to Yom Kippur. I actually got a fair amount done in spurts between services, and the suburbs today, though for the most part I was unable to string a sentence

Put stones onto the dead, not lawsuits

2009-09-27T15:00:00.019-05:00

Four out of five of a Chicago dentist's grandchildren married non Jews, and, as a result, none of the four will inherit any portion of the $250,000 set aside by their grandfather for each grandchild. The grandfather, who presumably stared into other people's mouths for who knows how long to save up such a fortune, and who worked in a field that has a high rate of suicide (well, actually The

10% & rising, or a dinner table census

2009-09-20T00:10:00.051-05:00

In response to being let go from American Apparel due to sweeping reforms adversely affecting longtime immigrant workers, and their employers (including my Pizza Hut neighbors), a now former American Apparel employee in the manufacturer's downtown Los Angeles 'sweatshop free' HQ wrote a letter, which was posted on the American Apparel site. The entire letter is heartfelt, however, the line that

Metal detector update

2009-09-19T23:32:00.030-05:00

Back in April my uncle purchased a metal detector, and I wrote about it here. Tonight I caught up with him to see what kind of stuff he's been pulling out of the ground from area parks, and beaches on the weekends. He gave me one of the rings he found.

"This is the Mayor's Thing"

2009-09-16T09:25:00.042-05:00

Ad spots on the radio, on the TV, on bus carrels, on building walls, and the dog, and pony "community forum" traveling shows just weren't enough, it's time to penetrate the Chicago 2016 Olympic vision into the earlobes of every single rider on the CTA #72 North Avenue bus at rush hour. I'd heard an Olympic athlete testimonial when I attended a forum at DePaul University for residents of the 32nd

Outside the Box

2009-09-15T17:39:00.018-05:00

Today was a bit like Halloween. I played dress-up, and tried to be a normal person. She showed me a slide with a bunch of boxes in it. Each box represents a different department. This box, she said, it should really be red, not white, because of X,Y,Z. Oh, totally, yeah, red for sure. And that box, the sales team, that's the box I'd be in. And, what have I been doing with myself since I lost my

Squirrel with Apple

2009-09-11T23:13:00.007-05:00

Here is a shaky video, shot earlier today, of a squirrel, and an apple. From far away it looked like a tennis ball. There are many facts at squirrels.org. This one was cool: An adult squirrel normally lives alone. But will, in severe cold, share its nest with other squirrels to conserve body heat. Once the temperature rises, the guests will be on their way.

Patterns

2009-09-11T10:48:00.032-05:00

A long time ago, somebody pushed a button hard, having known exactly what my buttons are, and told me that I'm always going to be a drifter, that I'll always "bounce from job, to job, friends to friends," and that I'll "never have a career." In some ways that is true, though if a career is code for "fulfillment," than at least I feel as if I've had that for the majority of my life, though it

The Creepy Bug and Even Creepier Album

2009-09-10T14:54:00.009-05:00

My cat killed this bug, pictured. I am clueless as to what type of bug it is, and wonder if it's a centipede? A baby cockroach? Here is a shot of it in its last moments of life. Any help as to what kind of bug it is would be great. I am hoping it's harmless, and doesn't have a colony somewhere like ants. The bug had crawled down the wall, and then behind my records, where I pushed them back a bit

Prolific, or Just Too Much Time on My Hands?

2009-09-08T17:06:00.006-05:00

So, I decided to begin printing the weekly neighborhood eNewsletter, and make it available at a local cafe. It's 11 pages.Sadly, this was going to be a small holiday issue, with just a bit of news. I guess this is what happens when I get bored. What a testament to my lack of a real life! I think when I had a boyfriend I was averaging seven printed pages.

Max & The Fairy Godmother Card

2009-09-08T14:44:00.022-05:00

I am not a fan of calling older people "cute," but "Max"* is one of those people that is just, well, cute.He said I have permission to blog about him, though I'm not sure he knows what a blog is. He also told me last Wednesday at the free caffe de luca tarot night that I should go to the Oprah taping on Michigan Avenue today because "It would really be something to see." (I did not see the

Squirrels Can't Fly, Either

2009-09-05T12:30:00.008-05:00

Dear, Smoky Salmon

2009-09-03T13:25:00.003-05:00

You are Thin, sliced, pink flesh**melting beneath me, It's love or hate,with you, smoky salmon-There are no 'in-between'feelings, onlyinspiration tinged by my salt, the briny juice I stew in, trapped inside a jar,crammed among my people,waiting to break free, to live with you, atop a plate sprinkled over your body again, and again, in yet another random cafe, another dark booth,how long we've

A $10 Sunday

2009-08-30T22:21:00.006-05:00

Outside the art fair, a little boy, pictured, was selling Garbage Pail Kids magnets his cousin had made, at $2 a pop. On the way home I spotted a garage sale. And this planter, for $2. Oh yeah, and the Sunday NYT, $6.It was $10 happily spent...

Ted Kennedy's Incident

2009-08-30T09:15:00.013-05:00

A guy in my comedy class wrote a hilarious sketch about U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy at the gates of Heaven. Without exposing the sketch, which I feel like could easily be on stage, it also included the hard-to-forget tidbit, or "incident" (I love it when politicians do something horrific it's an "incident," whereas with regular folks it's a "crime") about Ted Kennedy leaving the scene of an

Barack Obama as Chia Pet, Then & Now

2009-08-29T07:49:00.008-05:00

Back at the end of March I was dismayed to see a Barack Obama "Determined Pose" Chia Pet for sale at Walgreens, and wrote about it here on GONE, as well as on the WindyCitizen.com All over the country, other Walgreen's shoppers weren't impressed, either. The doll was removed from Walgreen's shelves, though not before this North Ave. shop owner had purchased one, and began planting Obama's hair.

The Cat Colony That Never Transpired

2009-08-26T13:32:00.025-05:00

I am so sick of talking about my idiotic, self absorbed, underemployed, whiny life, and the weekly eNewsletter, that it's time to talk about something else. Like my cat. An embarrassing thing happened, for which I feel much shame. It involves a failed cat colony in my building. Lest anyone think I'm a crazy cat lady, the colony actually involved expunging my cat to the hallway, kind of like one

Headlines in the Non News

2009-08-23T13:54:00.004-05:00

Chicago Selects Vendor for Privatizing Its WindAT&T, Sony, Playstation Rock Out LollapaloozaKosher Jews Evade Swine Flu Chicago 2016 Logo Appears in Local Woman's DischargeU.S. Government Wants Your 1996 Chevy CelebrityKiddieland Slated to Close, Kids too Fat for Rides Anyway

A-Z with Wicker Park's Sidewalk Sale

2009-08-19T11:51:00.023-05:00

Truth be told, I have class on Saturday afternoon, and with discretionary spending on lockdown, I might not be able to do much shopping at this weekend's Wicker Park Bucktown Sidewalk Sale, but that won't stop me from trying to help spread the word of the sale. It takes place this Saturday, and Sunday, from 11 am until 6 p.m. Links to the web sites of all of the aforementioned stores can be

$2 lunch West of Western

2009-08-18T23:31:00.013-05:00

Drained from walking around the neighborhood, I flushed the newsletter out of my head, and headed west, to check out a friend's new condo, and to sit on a bench in the park. Burger King, or a buggy? The choice was clear. I got a mini jibarito for $1.25, along with a $0.75 cent soda, and soon watched the pigeons watch me, as they circled near the bench where I was sitting. I read part of this past

Town Hall Extremism?

2009-08-15T11:14:00.008-05:00

Watching the news at 4 a.m. is never a good idea. Anti-Obama sentiments, particularly in Montana, the site of the latest Town Hall Meeting, are rather disturbing. An American flag with a swastika where the stars should be, a black reporter expressing that she would have been fearful to have attended the town hall meeting, and many other citizen behaviors serve as a reminder that we haven't come

the non blogworthy new old purse

2009-08-12T17:59:00.015-05:00

Though my boyfriend is into food, he's not into chick flicks, and, as I worked on a neighborhood newsletter most of Sunday, and into Monday, my Monday afternoon was a lot like other people's Sundays, so I went to see Julia & Julie on a whim on Monday when most normal people are working if that makes any sense. "What was it about?" he asked me in the car yesterday when he came to pick me up at a

Death of Drivable Cars, and of News, Too

2009-08-09T19:47:00.011-05:00

Is there any irony in the fact that the Chicago Tribune's newly redesigned Web site, unveiled today, made it difficult to find an online version of a story, not just any story, but instead a poignantly written cover feature about perfectly good, well built, still drivable vehicles being sentenced to death, a casualty of the government's immensely popular "Cash for Clunkers" program, offering a

Painful Lives of Knitters

2009-08-09T10:23:00.017-05:00

So, I've been taking this knitting class for about eight months. Each week, we gather, knit together carefully, and sloppily woven projects, try them on, ooh ahh at each other's craftiness, take out some stitches, put in others, and overall, truth be told, it's a blast. I love knitting, always have. It's cheaper to knit than to go to a therapist, and you can learn a lot about yourself when you're

My President, My Friend

2009-08-07T00:49:00.007-05:00

Dear Mr. President, First off, I think you're doing a great job, and please take everything I'm about to say with a big grain of Kosher rock salt. Stop having so much fun. I'm serious. This is the worst American economy in over seven decades, in other words a crisis, and you are taking your daughters not just to work, but on a European vacation. From there, you are making it 'a birthday week,'

What's in a Day? Who's There?

2009-08-05T12:17:00.019-05:00

This graph, featured in Sunday's NYT, illustrates how unemployed people, and employed people spend their days. , and I think it's astonishingly accurate, at least in my experiences. If production in the home got the same pay as production in the workplace, I think we'd be a much healthier, and happier nation. Okay, back to sending out resumes... I kind of want to write about a woman whom I gave

Ice cold, ice cold

2009-08-02T12:39:00.004-05:00

A few days ago it was a street preacher at the corner, and today it's a man with a cooler like the kind you take on a family picnic, and it's full of bottles of water that he's selling for $1 each. I don't know much about sound except that it travels. And, like the street preacher, the constant refrain of ice cold, ice cold is touching a nerve, and I'm feeling the man's urgency while at the same

An understandable understanding

2009-08-01T01:19:00.010-05:00

I am dating a man that doesn't understand blogging, which is understandable. If I understood it, I probably wouldn't be doing it, either. So, shoot me if I like expressing myself. Call me a narcissist, though keep in mind this is a far less obtrusive-- and much easier way-- to get the word out than trolling around open mics. Nothing against the spoken world culture, I just like to hide behind my

The Other Americans

2009-08-01T00:43:00.007-05:00

Psst, you know the ones I'm talking about, not the ones that have paychecks, and direct deposit, but the ones that are wondering what tomorrow will bring, and not in a philosophical way, but actually. The ones that were unfortunate enough to have worked in dying industries, and whom have exhausted their unemployment benefits. The ones that lost a home, or are in the long, drawn out process of

Message, received

2009-07-30T16:36:00.009-05:00

Are you a pastor?, I asked.He paused, mindful no doubt of his response. "No, I am an evangelist," he replied, a bit defensively. Clearly, I thought. An evangelist with a boom box grade sound system that was entertaining drivers, and pedestrians, good for a smirk, or two, or an eye roll, but annoying neighbors, neighbors like me that don't have jobs to be at, or work from home, and are forced to

The day in pictures

2009-07-09T20:09:00.016-05:00

Rather than shoot myself in the foot using words, I'll stick to images, as I'm less likely to delete photos than words. .

Sunday in Pictures

2009-07-05T18:22:00.009-05:00

Maybe I should explain.. the first shot was the window of a closed nail salon.

S.O.S. from Leisureland

2009-07-03T11:48:00.027-05:00

I've had two realizations over this past week. 1) I'm dating a Man of Leisure, and 2) It's possible I was a carny in a past life. There is something about being at a fest, or fair, that puts me in this zone where anything is possible. Six dollars on three swings to see if you'll clear that massive pond using a golf ball as light as a whiffleball, and win us a shiny new Suburu? Sure, honey, get in

Ghostboy

2009-06-26T08:24:00.007-05:00

GhostboyShoulders rolling,Hands flat like finsSlicing air, in defianceOf everythingBut the beat--We couldn’t stop wantingMore of youAnd you opened yourselfBecause someone asked,And you were earnest in replyAnd pureAnd pale like a geishaskin like the surface of the moonYou walkedAnd we watched,It *was* the watching,And the clucking of tongues,And the mean wordsThat drove you awayI’m convinced we

A Business Plan for Humboldt Park

2009-06-24T13:40:00.020-05:00

Last night my mother asked if I have a sleeping bag. She suggested that I go camping in Humboldt Park to escape the heat. Instead I just went over to my boyfriend's, though I usually prefer my own place, except when it's 100-plus degrees. He told me that he joked with a friend that he might break up with me because I have no AC, and I told him that I joked with a friend that I might continue

So, I Finally Tried iCream

2009-06-23T14:45:00.008-05:00

Previously I wrote about iCream (http://gangsoftheneweconomy.blogspot.com/2009/03/iscream-uscream-wii-all-scream.html), and now that I've tried it, I can honestly say that it wasn't as great as I thought- or hoped- it might be. I had a medium non fat white chocolate flavored yogurt with Reese's pieces, and A. tried a small soy milk vanilla ice cream with burnt sugar flavor, topped with seven

Ah, Air Conditioning, I Miss You

2009-06-23T14:14:00.003-05:00

So, when I moved out of my last apartment, I gave my window air unit to the guy that moved into my old place. He asked me if he could have it, and given that I hadn't installed it for the three summers prior, I said sure. That was then, and this is now, now being that there is no window in my new bedroom, which I guess by Chicago code makes it more of a den than a bedroom, and the cross breeze

Porch Builders Narrowly Escape Falling Roof

2009-06-23T11:36:00.022-05:00

He said that I can call him Antonio, though he assured me it's not really his name, even after I assured him that I'm not really a reporter. We were standing in the alley behind 1239 N. Ashland, watching firefighters put out a fire that began at approx. 10:30 a.m this morning, when "Antonio" and three of his fellow workers from 773 Porches, billed as Chicago's Largest Porch Builder, per its truck

The Way to a Man's Heart

2009-06-16T22:22:00.016-05:00

If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, I'm screwed. Then again, it's only a cliche... This is what I fed him yesterday for lunch: a frozen turkey burger patty, lightly sauteed, over matzo, the bread of affliction that the Jewish people eat at Passover, which I think took place a few months ago, though the nice thing about matzo is that it never really goes bad. "Ketchup? Mustard?"

Unplugged

2009-06-16T21:48:00.003-05:00

Though I didn't apply for a digital converter coupon, I got one in the mail a few days ago, and suspect it was the work of my mother, whom must have signed me up. She can't bear to think about my living without a TV. I just turned on my television, and it's all static. The coupon is for $40, and expires August 28. If the converter costs more than $40 I am debating tossing tv access all together.

Area Woman Has Had Enough of Her Cat

2009-06-14T08:12:00.010-05:00

CHICAGO-- In an effort to upset her cat right back at him, Aly Hensler, whom has failed to workout on a semi regular basis despite not having a job for the past five months, whipped a pillow in the direction of her cat at the ungodly hour of 6 a.m., and sprained her right shoulder. "In what world is it okay to wake someone up by biting their foot?" Hensler wondered aloud to no one in particular

Oh yeah

2009-06-10T23:26:00.004-05:00

Yellow Labs Need Not Apply

2009-06-07T21:20:00.005-05:00

There were three dogs at the park, and all three were black labs. Here's S., kicking it at 15 years old, and going strong, so strong that she dominated over this younger dog, and took his squeaky toy as her own, until it was time to go home. As with Jimmy John's, "smells are free" at the park, too, and there was no shortage of sniffing among the four legged sect.

When Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

2009-06-06T11:53:00.016-05:00

Okay, I'm rushing off to class, and I agreed to never blog about anyone in bad form, but something happened last night that was so jaw dropping, and unbelievable that I feel like I have to say something, even if it's only to the six people that might read this from time to time, and if I only have a minute or two before hopping a bus. Last night A. and I went to a Second City show. Students get

I Said, She Said, Then I Lost Like Everyone Else

2009-06-04T23:32:00.046-05:00

Two others plead their cases before I did in room 113 of the Central Hearing Facility at 440 W. Superior this morning. Flush with victory, Judge Deirdre C. was 2-0 when I got to the podium, nervous, clutching five exhibits, all photographs of the west side of Hoyne at Division, where I had parked late Friday evening. The Do Division Street Festival was the following morning, and while there were

:)

2009-06-04T00:03:00.002-05:00

This is Not a Nap!

2009-05-30T19:13:00.011-05:00

Cranky adults need naps. This is not a nap. The day began with a towed car, a $160 fee, and missing a bat-mitvah rehearsal that I was supposed to photograph for a cousin due to retrieving said car. The "no parking sign" was tacked to a tree of all things, and obscured by leaves. There were two poles near the tree, but no signs on either... I had parked last night, and hadn't noticed the sign

Home

2009-05-27T23:39:00.018-05:00

A few people, unrelated, over the past few weeks, mentioned that "it's not hard to find you," in reference perhaps- okay, yes, maybe- to my blogging addiction. When stuff like this happens I tend to cringe inward, and withdraw from "sharing," though I don't stop writing for myself. But, I'm obviously addicted. So, to the six readers I am aware of, here are a few shots from a recent trip back to

A Big Event

2009-05-23T16:47:00.003-05:00

I actually left Wicker Park. This is some of what we saw, and bought, and ate.

It's Been a Gorilla Glue Morning

2009-05-20T09:36:00.016-05:00

With the holiday weekend approaching, and my brother, and his family headed into town, I'd love to finally put "humpty dumpty" back together again. This table has been in a state of dysfunction since the move, and it still is, despite my half ass efforts this morning. I made coffee, turned on NPR, put on gloves, took a deep breath, dampened both sides, applied Gorilla Glue, clamped, and nothing.

Murals Old and New

2009-05-19T10:01:00.011-05:00

The Tamale Chica is covering an interesting story behind a Bridgeport mural that was painted over by the city's Graffiti Busters team. Check out this link:http://tamalechica.blogspot.com/2009/05/destruction-of-bridgeport-mural-and.htmlHere are a few shots of new murals located in my neighborhood, which the realtors like to call "West Bucktown." The first, on the side of the Handlebar, was created

Ground Control

2009-05-19T09:02:00.012-05:00

Once again, I have poster's remorse, this time in relation to a post I put up yesterday on windycitizen.com about a mass note of intro from a new editor at a widely read Chicago daily tabloid/newspaper that shall remain unnamed. At the time I posted it I had been up for almost two days straight, with maybe four hours of sleep, and I was quite grumpy. The impetus for the post was a gut reaction to

Why RedEye Sucks

2009-05-18T10:59:00.006-05:00

MS insisted on reading the RedEye at brunch this past Saturday, and because it was littered all over the ground, its weekend edition wrapped up to look like a real newspaper, we picked up a copy, and headed to Milk and Honey on Division. Just got this "note" of intro from the new RedEye 2Do editor. As the Trib continues to lay off Pulitzer winning writers, and people covering wars here, and

Sunday Spider

2009-05-17T14:27:00.006-05:00

I forget what happened luck-wise the last time I killed a spider, but this time I watched the spider instead of smashing it to death on my wall, the mark still there as a testament to my laziness, cruelty, and lack of paper towels. Oh yeah, and I also felt the need to record the spider, along with taking a few new glam shots of Sophie, all of which occurred this fine Sunday morning. Soon I'll

Can You Guess How They're Connected?

2009-05-14T22:11:00.005-05:00

There's a reason all of these people will be featured in an upcoming Street Scene, and it has nothing to do with what they sell. From Miss Sixy Jeans, to coffee filters, Italian beef, eyebrow waxing, stationary, and more, the truth will reveal itself soon enough.

Sky God Devils & Divas

2009-05-14T10:10:00.009-05:00

My skin will probably be beef jerky at 40, and I'll die early from one skin ailment or another, and all my icky, over-processed hair I can barely look at in photos will one day fall out, but I'm not regretting the nap on the hill, and this consequent sunburn. Good thing I'm not on Thorozine, like poet Anne Sexton whom had a line in a poem (I'm paraphrasing) about sunbathing being like "making

His Side, Her Side: The 2016 Olympics

2009-05-13T15:01:00.018-05:00

Mr. Sunshine, and I are at an ideological impasse: He wants the Olympics here in Chicago in the Year 2016, and I don't. MS just accused me of possibly being a republican b/c I am opposed to the Olympics being hosted in Chicago in 2016, wtf?!Um, it's not just the cost, It's the natural land being razed to make way for the festivus (I don't know how to hyperlink, but here's Ben Joravsky's take on

Afternoon in Humboldt Park

2009-05-12T20:15:00.007-05:00

Taking a break from all things Wicker Park, I took to the streets with my trusty CareerKiller President's Club beach towel, and landed on a hill alongside the relatively new Little Cubs Field in Humboldt Park. While squinting in the sun I read this past Sunday's NYT magazine. The cover story was about a writer battling chronic depression, and I found it very interesting, though I wonder if a 40

Ambitious Individuals

2009-05-12T11:48:00.007-05:00

Everybody knows someone whom is perpetually single because she keeps turning away potential suitors. This one is too weird, that one not weird enough, this one has bad teeth, that one too big, this one too skinny.... I can be ambitious, and I have a lot of energy, but once again a recruiter's words are falling flat. Clearly I am in some sort of career crisis, or perhaps finally saying just

American Gothic

2009-05-10T22:24:00.001-05:00

Thanks, Sophie

2009-05-10T11:00:00.004-05:00

Sophie awoke from one of her many naps, which I'm told by her owner is normal for a 14-year old dog, a mere 98 in dog years, though I was concerned nonetheless. She wanted to go outside for a walk. Along the way I spotted a $20 bill lying in the grass. Sophie sniffed the bill, and I pocketed it. This random bill was a good thing, as my mother will have no excuse for feeling guilty today, on this

Throw Momma From the Stage

2009-05-09T12:12:00.002-05:00

“Throwing Momma" May 9, 2009 (version 1)CASTMomma – 70sHeather – 40sSpecial Power Man-40s(A living room)MOMMADancing with the Stars is about to start! HEATHER I hate Dancing with the Stars, Momma! I’m going to a party! MOMMA A PARTY?! I’ll be darned. You were invited to a party?HEATHERYes, Momma! Me! I was invited to a party! Why is that so hard to believe? It’s a jewelry party!

Sisterly Love

2009-05-08T22:22:00.004-05:00

J. sent this along, and I hope it's Photoshop, though it looks too authentic.

Why Can't Dogs Use Litter Boxes?

2009-05-08T18:18:00.007-05:00

I've always been a cat person, as most dogs seem too hyper, or too high maintenance, yet in the case of S. whom I'm looking after for a few days we seem to get along, maybe because she's 14 years old, and pretty mellow, so mellow that she's been dozing most of the day. The last time I watched her I took her on a four hour walk. Granted, there were a lot of stops, and benches, but it must have

A Word That Attracts People

2009-05-08T12:44:00.006-05:00

Gang, in my mother's opinion, is a horrible word. A poor choice. I've tried to explain that it doesn't mean what she thinks it means, and it's more about running in a pack in this new, albeit scary economy, and a "feel good" kind of gangs connotation, yet despite whatever I say or how I say it all of my lame-ass attempts at clarification are, as usual, falling on the deaf ears attached to the

Keeping It Simple

2009-05-07T22:31:00.017-05:00

Local historian Elaine A. Coorens kindly gave me copy of her book, Wicker Park From 1673 Thru 1929 and Walking Tour Guide. In the early 1900s there was a lot of neighborhood news, per the excerpts in Elaine's book, which I've been thumbing through since earlier today. Even going on vacation for a few weeks was enough to warrant a blurb in the local Wicker Park neighborhood newspaper, along with

Respect the Nut Cup

2009-05-06T22:40:00.005-05:00

The pouring rain had long since stopped, and the streets were quiet. Another Wednesday over, I breathed a bit more calmly on the walk home. Even the pavement seemed shiny with promise. Reading tarot cards free to patrons of a cafe is not as creepy as driving an ice cream truck. The driver of the truck w/ an impressive collection of city stickers on its windshield was buying a six pack of beer,

Notebook Near Clemente High School

2009-05-05T10:14:00.008-05:00

"For the absences I was absence alot just for the simple reason that I was waking up late. I had lots of ISS'S [in school suspensions?] last year. for tardy's," O.S. writes in one of his first assignments for the 2006-07 school year. He tells Ms. H, his reading teacher, that her time chart is "a grat idea."O.S's neon orange spiral notebook, dedicated to sixth period according to its inside cover,

The Walk Home

2009-05-03T12:56:00.011-05:00

Now I'm craving olives...

2009-05-02T12:38:00.006-05:00

“Simple yet impossible task”Version 1, 5/2/09SARA pours a vodka and vermouth mixture into a martini glass. She takes the glass to her lips, yet stops. She turns, steps on her cat. Sara cries out in a mixture of apology, and annoyance at her ever-present cat. She retrieves a jar of olives from the pantry. The lid is tight. She keeps turning, and turning. She shakes her right hand vigorously to

(Drinking) Reading Rainbow

2009-05-02T03:49:00.003-05:00

I want to interview adults drinking wine, and trying to remember books that they've liked, and why they liked them. There will be no fact checking, just recollection.

How are ya?

2009-05-02T02:11:00.009-05:00

I was standing in Walgreens, holding a canister of Quaker Oats, along with vitamin-enriched Diet Coke plus, which is going to save me from getting the swine flu, I'm sure of it. City of New Orleans came on over the piped music system, and everything seemed to change. I felt lighter. Maybe it was the three hours of sleep I'd gotten the night before, or the mania of stuff better left to paper, but

No, Thank You, Thai Thank You

2009-04-27T23:48:00.007-05:00

On a bleak, and colorless day, which happened to be today, I walked past far too many vacant storefronts, and "for lease" signs. Amid the gray a mirage appeared in the distance. It was bright orange, named simply "Thai Thank You"It stopped me in my on-the-go, unemployed tracks. Ain't nothing was going to break my stride except something named Thai Thank You. What could it mean? I wondered. Was